Here I am, Mavis Quinn, at the world-famous Quilt Market – posting a report for Where Cuckoo Women Create .com.org.biz.
This spring Quilt Market is being held at the convention center in Salt Lake City. It has been quite warm and the skies are clear.
Quilt Market is very exclusive and everyone who attends must prove, in advance of entering the convention, that they are worthy of admiration and that they really are cool and fascinating. Or they must be from the media.
Upon arrival, each attendee is issued a pass that they wear around their neck. It identifies who they are and what company they work for. There is also a coolness rating. It goes on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 – lowest to 10 – highest.
This lady has a coolness rating of 2, and therefore must be shunned.
There is a seminar that everyone must attend at the beginning of the show to learn neck-pass etiquette, but this cub reporter was stuck in a bathroom stall hiding from a celebrity quilter, who she had (once a long time ago) accidentally tripped. The unfortunate quilting diva (coolness scale rating 9.5) fell into a koi pond and came up with some tadpoles in an awkward place, but that’s anther story. So I missed the manners meeting completely.
I am not sure what to do now when I meet people at the show – do you look them in the eye and speak to them? Do you look at them, introduce yourself, and then look at their name tag? Do you just look at the name tag, make eye contact, smile, and speak? Cub reporter found herself just looking at the chests of everyone she talked to.
Damn! I wish I hadn’t missed that informative seminar.
So, the cub reporter set out to figure out where to look.
In the first aisle there was this!
Then in the next row, this!
But then I rounded a corner, knocked a 10-foot tower of thread all over several ladies in scooters and a man in a quilted vest, and ended up with my nose right in the center of this!
I kid you not, dreary readers, there was an actual BREAST quilt!
An actual naked lady with pink nipply buttons?
OK, I get it… When you meet someone, read their coolness rating to decide whether to be nice to them or not and then just look at their breasts! Awesome!
I will explore more as the show progresses and get back to you – I didn’t know that quilters were so strange.
Can you believe that this image is all over the sidewalks as you leave the show?
But the clincher was dessert!?!
That’s just wrong!